The Marine Infantryman

As Seen By Himself:

A Stout, Handsome, Highly-Trained Professional Killer and Female Idol, who wears a star sapphire ring, carries a finely honed K-Bar, is covered with a crisp cammie cover and is always on time due to the reliability of his Seiko Diver's Watch.

As Seen By His Wife:

A stinking, gross, foul mouthed bum, who arrives home every 6 months or so with a seabag full of filthy utilities, a huge ugly watch, an oversized knife, a filthy hat, and a hard-on.

As Seen By Headquarters:

A drunken Brawling, HMMWV stealing, women corrupting liar, with a star sapphire ring, Seiko watch, unauthorized K-Bar, and a f---ed up cover.

As Seen By His Commanding Officer:

A fine specemin of a drunken Brawling, HMMWV stealing, women corrupting bullshitter, with a star sapphire ring, fantastically accurate Seiko watch, finely honed razor sharp K-Bar, and a salty cammie cover.

As Seen By Headquarters Marine Corps:

An over paid, over-rated, tax burden, who is however, indespensible since he will volunteer to go anywhere, at any time, and kill whoever he is told to, as long as he can, drink, brawl, steal HMMWV's, corrupt women, kick cats, lie, sing dirty songs, wear filthy cammies, big Sapphire rings, over-sized knives, Seiko watches and really f---ed up covers.