School and Homework Excuses

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including spelling errors).

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her
shot.

3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
30, 31, 32, and also 33.

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell
out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been
bothered by very close veins.

9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

10. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had
diarrhea and his boots leak.

11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

12. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

13. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping
because I don't know what size she wear.

14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot
to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

15. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend
her funeral.

16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She
spent a weekend with the Marines. (OohRah!)

17. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold
and could not breed well.

18. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed
with gramps.

19. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

20. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

21. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also
sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and
fever. There must be something going around, her father even
got hot last night.

22. Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to
attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds .

23. Please excuse Jackie for not having her homework she was a
little under the weatherman, and there was a big flurry in
Central America.

24. Please excuse my daughter from school yesterday and P.E.
forever. She had a very bad asthma attach running in P.E.
because the coach made her run too much. Please excuse her
from P.E. even though the doctor says she needs it.