Letter from Microsoft

Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Windows 2000 Redneck Edition may have inadvertently been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The redneck edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads Winders 2000 with a background art of Gen. Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver. Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message, a garbage bag and roll of duct tape pops up.

Changes in Terminology in Redneck Edition:
OK: ats aw-right
Reset: try er agin
Yes: yep
No: noop
Find: hunt fer it
Go to: over yonder
Back: back yonder
Help: hep me out here
Stop: kwitit
Start: crank er up
Settings: sittins
Programs: stuff dat duz stuff
Documents: stuff I done did