You Know You're Too Drunk When...

1) Your job interferes with your drinking.
2) Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
3) Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
4) The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
5) Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
6) Two hands and just one mouth... - now that’s a drinking problem.
7) You can focus better with one eye closed.
8) The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
9) Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
10) Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner.
11) You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
12) You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
13) Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you