How to identify where a driver is from

One hand on wheel,
one hand on horn:
CHICAGO.

One hand on wheel,
middle finger out window:
NEW YORK.

One hand on wheel,
middle finger out window,
cutting across all lanes of traffic:
NEW JERSEY.

One hand on wheel,
one hand on newspaper,
foot solidly on accelerator:
BOSTON .

One hand on wheel,
one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino,
cradling cell phone,
brick on accelerator,
gun in lap:
LOS ANGELES

Both hands on wheel,
eyes shut,
both feet on brake,
quivering in terror:
From MONTANA , but driving in CALIFORNIA .

Both hands in air, gesturing,
both feet on accelerator,
head turned to talk to someone in back seat:
ITALY.

One hand on 12oz double shot latte,
one knee on wheel,
cradling cell phone,
foot on brake,
mind on radio game,
banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic:
SEATTLE.

One hand on wheel,
one hand on hunting rifle,
alternating between both feet being on the
accelerator, and both feet on brake,
throwing McDonald's bag out the window:
KENTUCKY .


Four-wheel drive pick-up truck,
shotgun mounted in rear window,
beer cans on floor,
Prairie Dog tails attached to antenna:
WYOMING .

Two hands gripping wheel,
blue hair barely visible above windshield,
driving 35 on the Interstate,
in the left lane with the left blinker on:
FLORIDA