You know You Drank too Much...
~Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
~The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
~The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
~When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof?
~You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Hotties.
~You have a "happy hour" at home
~When you are sober, people ask you what's wrong?
~You spend all night making a board game called Alcohol Land ~Although you drove home the other night you can't remember
how you got home or where you parked your car
~"Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol."
~Your favorite drink is ethanol.
~"Why does everybody think I have a prinking droblem?! - I don't have a prinking droblem!" "I don't have a drinking prob..pleb..prub.. *hic*
~Pash me another, tarbender."
~You can spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their (your) collapse.
~You instinctively know where the alcohol is in a store you've never been in before
~Clubs raise their drink prices because you haven't attended in a while
~You think beer and ramen make a good breakfast
~You frequently urinate outdoors.
~When you first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour later you're afraid you won't.
~You fall asleep taking a dump.
~You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
~You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
~You find it's easier to study drunk.
~You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.
~Beer ads make sense.
~You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
~You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half empties left sitting around the room.
~The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color reads "bloodshot".
~You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.
~You mix your cocktails by the litre.
~You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your chin.
~You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic Zen-like piss.
~When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.
~You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect
~You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
~You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
~Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.
~24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
~Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! "
~Norm!" is what they say when you enter the bar.
~You can focus better with one eye closed
~The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar ~You fall off the floor.
~You discover in the morning that liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared.
~Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
~Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore.
~The glass keeps missing your mouth.
~Vampires get woozy after bitting you.
~At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
~Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer.
~You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the
bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
~Every night you're beginning to find your roomate's cat more and more attractive.
~If you're on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories.
~"Take me drunk, I'm home!"
~You wake up naked lying in the corner of a bus depot.
~You drink to get over a hangover.
~You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who drink too much.
~The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
~The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
~When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof?
~You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Hotties.
~You have a "happy hour" at home
~When you are sober, people ask you what's wrong?
~You spend all night making a board game called Alcohol Land ~Although you drove home the other night you can't remember
how you got home or where you parked your car
~"Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol."
~Your favorite drink is ethanol.
~"Why does everybody think I have a prinking droblem?! - I don't have a prinking droblem!" "I don't have a drinking prob..pleb..prub.. *hic*
~Pash me another, tarbender."
~You can spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their (your) collapse.
~You instinctively know where the alcohol is in a store you've never been in before
~Clubs raise their drink prices because you haven't attended in a while
~You think beer and ramen make a good breakfast
~You frequently urinate outdoors.
~When you first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour later you're afraid you won't.
~You fall asleep taking a dump.
~You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
~You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
~You find it's easier to study drunk.
~You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.
~Beer ads make sense.
~You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
~You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half empties left sitting around the room.
~The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color reads "bloodshot".
~You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.
~You mix your cocktails by the litre.
~You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your chin.
~You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic Zen-like piss.
~When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.
~You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect
~You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
~You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
~Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.
~24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
~Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! "
~Norm!" is what they say when you enter the bar.
~You can focus better with one eye closed
~The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar ~You fall off the floor.
~You discover in the morning that liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared.
~Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
~Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore.
~The glass keeps missing your mouth.
~Vampires get woozy after bitting you.
~At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
~Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer.
~You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the
bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
~Every night you're beginning to find your roomate's cat more and more attractive.
~If you're on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories.
~"Take me drunk, I'm home!"
~You wake up naked lying in the corner of a bus depot.
~You drink to get over a hangover.
~You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who drink too much.
posted by D. Maria at 4:59 AM
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