Jokes that may offend most!
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
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Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
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Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is f**king her.
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Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea
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Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating c**t once in a while too.
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Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
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Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
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Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
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Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your @ss kicked.
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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
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Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
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Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
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Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
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Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
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Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
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Q. Do you know how Montanan's practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
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Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it
A: Not being retarded
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Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is f**king her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating c**t once in a while too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your @ss kicked.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Do you know how Montanan's practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it
posted by D. Maria at 4:53 AM
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