You Know You're Getting Older When

- You and your teeth don't sleep together.

- Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

- Your back goes out, but you stay home.

- You wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

- Happy hour is a nap.

- You're on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money does.

- You say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.

- You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on your head the whole time.

- You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

- All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

- It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

- You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

- You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.