Need an Ambulance?

These are all real replies from patients asked why they needed an abulance to and from hospital...

=> I am under the doctor and cannot breathe.
=> I can't walk to the bus stop and my wife is bent.
=> I can't breathe and haven't done so for many years.
=> I want transport and bus drivers do funny things to me and make me feel queer.
=> I am blind in one eye and my leg.
=> I live five miles from the hospital and the postman says I should have it.
=> I have got arthritis and heart failure in both feet and knees.
=> I must have a man as I cannot go out or do up my suspenders.
=> I cannot walk up a hill unless it is down and the hill to the hospital is up.
=> My husband is dead and will not bring me.
=> I cannot drive a car as I have not got one.
=> I hope you will send a man as my husband is quite useless.
=> I can come at any time to suit you, but not mornings as I don't feel too good. I can't come on Mondays or Wednesdays as the home help comes, and not on Fridays as the baker calls for his money. I can't come on Tuesdays as my sister calls.